Rebecca's Ponderings

February 17, 2011

Friendships

Filed under: Growing in Christ,Home Education — Rebecca @ 8:53 pm
Tags: , ,

We were at our local library yesterday for a book-club meeting. My daughter brought a lady to me who had questions about our homeschool co-op.

The woman was a very kind grandmother whose eleven-year-old granddaughter was a first year homeschool student. The lady explained that while she was most definitely an extrovert, her daughter (the girl’s mother) was an introvert. She was extremely concerned that since they began homeschooling this year, the granddaughter seemed to have very few friends. In addition, her daughter seemed uninterested in joining any groups. The only friends the girl had were some neighbors who were members of our co-op.

We talked about the co-op and what we do. We talked about how some people prefer to have many friends, while others only want one close friend. She understood that. I also explained my own hesitations about joining any groups when we first began homeschooling: I needed to focus on learning to teach. It seemed to allay her fears a little.

As we talked, she revealed that the granddaughter was in a dance class. I mentioned that the girl would have opportunities to make friends there. That was when she said, “But she doesn’t see them every day!”

My response took her by surprise. I said, “That is a good thing.” As she took a step backward, I quickly explained that I had to learn friendship skills after I graduated. Seeing people every day made me lazy. I was totally unprepared for maintaining relationships outside of school or a job. True friendships take effort. That is a valuable lesson to learn at eleven.

I think I may have scared the woman. Had I thought about it, I would have worded things differently, asking more questions. I might have asked about using her extrovert skills to coach her granddaughter on developing strong friendships. Hindsight is 20/20. Still, I pray that maybe she will view things a little differently.

I know that I do. As we recently started attending a different church, I was reminded how much we take for granted when we see our friends every week. It has made me more determined to work at all of my relationships. I still have a lot to learn. Thankfully, God has placed some very patient people in my life who inspire and instruct me toward true friendship every day.

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